Why I Use Any/All Pronouns

August 18, 2021

I've been gone for a minute but I'm back with the jump off. Thank you for your patience.

I saw a tweet not to long ago that really affected me. The tweet was about Layshia Clarendon, the first openly non-binary person to play in the WNBA (If you happen to see this, shout out to you Layshia!). Through that tweet, I learned of Layshia's pronouns¹ and how the WNBA commentators were not using he pronouns when referring to Layshia. This tweet made me reflect on my own pronoun usage because we use pronouns similarly.

I chose to use any/all pronouns because I don't want people get caught up in an autopilot mode where they navigate me by only making sure they understand what pronouns to use to not offend me. I care that people understand what my gender is, what the gender binary is, and to respect my gender.

I am non-binary for two reasons: 1) it's a personal reflection of who I am and 2) it is political. First, my gender is personal in the sense that I've never felt comfortable as a woman. I grew up a tomboy which inherently rejects a lot of gender norms and I felt very restricted as a girl due to patriarchy. The more important reason is my second reason. I very much believe in dismantling the gender binary and I don't think you can dismantle it if you are participating in it. My gender is a form of resistance and that's why it's so important to me that people acknowledge that I am non-binary. To me, the first step is to help people become more of aware of how the gender binary is a functional enforcement arm of patriarchy and we must figure out ways to create cracks in it. Being non-binary is a crack.

When we move about the world with a binary lens of gender, we end up enforcing the rules of patriarchy. There's so much media, societal norms, and culture that teach us to discriminate against cishet women, LGBT+ people, and anyone really who defies the rules of patriarchy. It's of course built into our laws. I think we need to stop othering each other and realize that every human is just expressing themselves and that they'd be this person even if gender didn't exist. Gender doesn't make you who you are. Gender is just a categorization that people created to have a rationale for discriminating and harming one another.

So what does that mean for cis people? I'd like for you to consider in what ways being non-binary isn't beneficial to you. Especially given that being non-binary doesn't say anything about your gender expression. It doesn't change your sexuality. It doesn't change how you present. It doesn't change your pronouns. None of that. It will change some people's perception of you when you reveal it but that's the problem we're trying to address. The more people who introduce themselves as non-binary, the more educational conversations we can have.

Subconsciously, we know that subverting our assigned gender and prescribed roles is dangerous and comes with penalty. Unfortunately today, cis people are much more comfortable knowing that they are safe if they abide by the rules. I am asking that you do the necessary introspection to be able to share the burden of the danger. Sacrifice is necessary; so I ask, what will you sacrifice for the betterment of your fellow humans? What are you willing to do to no longer live in a world of patriarchy? We need you to give up your comfort and share your power.

¹ Layshia uses they/he/she pronouns according to Wikipedia at the time I'm writing this post.